I Am a Grinch

Alright, I am not green and hairy, and I do not steal children’s presents, but other than that I am pretty much just like Dr. Seuss’s Grinch: I hate Christmas. And any other holiday (Easter &c.), for that matter.

Why, I do not know for sure. It is probably because of all those greedy little children who boss their parents around in the toy store screaming, "I want this, and this, and this, too. And if I don’t get it I’m gonna throw myself on the floor and start crying so people will think you hit me, bitch." I am not too certain about the "bitch" part but there are probably some disrespectful little rascals out there who call their moms "bitches." Spoiled bastards. And on Christmas Eve (or Christmas Day) there are so many presents piled up under and around the tree that the tree cannot be seen any longer.

So it is actually the parents I hate because the children are not to blame for their upbringing, are they? How are they supposed to know about values, respect, and all those virtues of our society if no one ever tells them? Okay, some scientists argue that part of a person’s behavior is also rooted in the genes. But come on, how serious are these guys?

The "virtues of our society;" did I seriously just write that? That sounds so fucking white-bread. Our society does not have virtues anymore, that is the whole point, and children know this perfectly well. Bitch!

The Grinch hath spoken.

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